Is there anyone here who can tell me what making mixtapes is all about?

My birthday is today, which in my house means that the Holiday season officially starts on Tuesday, December 1 (which, to be fair, is when it should start. I enjoy the everloving tinsel out of Christmas, but I think it's ridiculous for the sales and decorations and Starbucks limited beverages to last more than three weeks). One staple of the Holiday season is music; every city has at least one station that plays nonstop Christmas music starting the day after Thanksgiving. Starbucks comes out with a new Holiday compilation every year. So I'm getting on the bandwagon for this one: presenting, for the first time ever....

An Arts Deux Christmas

Unlike most compilations that people like my dad will play endlessly through the whole month of December, An Arts Deux Christmas tries to stay away from the typical "standards" that dominate playlists and radio stations. The sad truth of Christmas music is that there are so few songs and yet so many versions of them, so though you get the variety, you still are bored to tears for hearing "Winter Wonderland" three times every hour.

Thus, though there are a couple typical Christmas tunes on this compilation, many of the others have little to nothing to do with Christmas whatsoever, and even those that do mention Christmas are not necessarily religious in any other way. I tried to put together a mix that reminds me (and you too, I should hope, dear reader) of the season: the weather, the mood, the darkness of winter and the cold of the wind, the crunch of the snow and the joy of a hot drink in your hands. Below I am listing the tracks and, instead of simply stating my purpose for them being in the mix, I'll just tell you the Winter scene that pops into my head when I hear them. If it sounds good, just click on the link above (or the one below, same thing) and enjoy! Remember, YouSendIt links expire after seven days, so if you happen upon this and would still like to download it, drop me a comment or hit me up on Facebook. Feliz Navidad.

1) This Christian's Hope
Denson's Sacred Harp Singers of Arley, Alabama
Walking by an old Baptist church on Christmas morning while going to pick up a few things in the store, when the streets are covered in snow and the voices of the chior resound out of a half-open door and reflect off the walls of the sleepy buildings.

2) God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen
Bright Eyes
At a holiday party with friends as well as the Ghost of Christmases Past, feeling happy from all the spiked eggnog, full of mischief and love and dancing continuously.

3) White Winter Hymnal
Fleet Foxes
Rolling down a snowbank in the middle of the night, landing winded and laughing on your back, looking up and seeing your breath dissolve into a perfectly clear sky.

4) River
Joni Mitchell
A few days before going home for the holidays, looking at storefront window decorations, remembering something that made you happy but you can't name, waiting to feel the warmth that December somehow brings.

5) Christmas Time Will Soon Be Over
Jack White
A happy gathering with the family, cheeks red from coming in from the cold, carrying bundles of gifts, singing together until it gets dark and everyone has to go.

6) Listening to Otis Redding at Home During Christmas
Okkervil River
Getting on the plane or train to go, remembering that what once made you happy is no more, and that some small part of home is different and gone; yet home is still home, and you will always feel right there.

7) Wither Must I Wander
Martha Wainwright
Taking a walk through the park under giant pine trees at dusk, remembering how the first Christmas tree was (apparently) a man trying to replicate the stars shining behind the tree branches.

8) Hallelujah
Leonard Cohen
Laying on your back early in the morning, after the tree is decorated but before there are presents under it, with no other lights on in the room, letting the glow eerily fill the space, wondering what it is that makes it so mysteriously beautiful.

9) December Will Be Magic Again
Kate Bush
Wrapping presents and baking, playing with all the kids who come to visit, pulling Christmas crackers and making jokes, putting up ornaments and smiling at the joy if it all.

10) Cosmia
Joanna Newsom
Snow angels and late-night explorations, followed by experiments with spiced hot chocolate and reading old stories by candlelight.

11) O Tannenbaum
Vince Guraldi Trio
Getting a coffee before going shopping or just browsing downtown, enjoying the cold hustle and bustle of a city, looking at the tacky yet still happy decorations along the sidewalks.

12) His Master's Voice
Monsters of Folk
Dawn on Christmas day, because you couldn't sleep, watching the world wake up and suddenly understanding things in a way that don't have explanation or reason, yet still fill you with joy and hope, even after a long dark night before, then pulling on your robe and running down to meet the rest of your family with hot coffee and breakfast.

Download Link:

https://www.yousendit.com/download/MVNmeW42bEpuSlJMWEE9PQ

Four Band Shirts I Would Totally Not Regret For That Long

Ah, band shirts: the one thing that, almost always, ends up being a bad idea. Even those of us who are nothing but fans of said bands, spending $20 at a show for a t-shirt that will eventually make you look like either an idiot or a snob (depending on how soon the band appears on the CW) always comes back to haunt us; after a while they are relegated to painting or cleaning clothing. Sometimes they become rags, or garage sale fodder.

However, after talking to a friend about getting band shirts for her younger brother for Christmas, I put some thought into it: are there any shirts that would tempt me at the show to throw away hard-earned money for intoxicants so that I can cover my body? Yes. There are four. That's it.

1. Octopus Shirt
Band: Okkervil River
Well, it is Okkervil River, and they are one band that I will get all dorky over. The design is both interesting and ridiculously indie, and was designed by William Schaff, who designed most of Okkervil River's covers.


2. Wolf Trap Shirt
Band: Beep Beep


Beep Beep was a band that I listened to when I was going through a phase of only listening to Saddle Creek, which led me to some good things (The Faint, Azure Ray) and some not good things (Cursive). Beep Beep, whose music I cannot find on my iTunes, were fun and bouncy, and I always wanted this shirt whenever I saw it online. It is so cute and also so gross lookin'! Coyote Ugly! The only downside is that this is one of those shirts that has nothing to do with the band itself, unless they are referring that either they are the type of band that would bite off their leg to escape a trap, or if one ought to react in such a way while listening to Beep Beep.

3. Ribbon Shirt
Band: Gogol Bordello


I was at the Gogol Bordello afterparty a couple weeks ago, and it was ten types of fantastic, and one guy from the band's entourage burned me with a cigarette accidentally and kissed where he did. He was wearing this shirt. I should not have to explain why this shirt is great.

4. Sphinx Shirt
Band: Neko Case
"I listened in when you thought you were alone / calling the sphinx on a tornado's phone" These lyrics, from "The Pharaohs" (a track on the wonderful Middle Cyclone) make no sense. They are pretty, and in the context of the song you sort of get it, but whereas the Gogol Bordello shirt was a reference to a song title, this one is not only harder to follow, but the payoff might not make bullions of sense. Me, though? I think it's hilarious. And clever. And I love it. Also, the fabric is apparently thinner and more washed looking, instead of the typical American Apparel fabric. Of all four of these, I would take this shirt overall.

Just some food for thought. My birthday is in a week!

In which I stick my nose

Okay, so Creationists are taking copies of Darwin's Origin of Species and passing it out to college students, with an added introduction that alleges Darwin as a racist, sexist, and the origin of Nazi ideology. I hate sticking my nose into these things, but should people who believe in evolution pass out copies of scripture with a foreward that sites all the crimes done in the name of Christianity? No. Because that would be missing the point of Christianity, just as Creationists are missing the point of Evolution.

I am not one to delve into the God question, I see myself as a Humanist, Agnostic, however you'd like to say it. The fact is that, if there is a God, I don't have any beef with them, and I have a feeling that She or He (or It, really) would be of a high and wise enough mind to place damnation on a level somewhere a bit higher than what we do and don't read. Censoring yourself from every possible outlet of information in this world is just as damning as watching pornography. The world is big and complicated, you can't root things out between Sin and Virtue. But these ideals are not, I think, sent down to us from a higher power. We see something that offends us, we call it wrong. Something makes us happy, we deem it right. eventually enough people see one thing as wrong or one thing as right that we assume it a universal truth. The Ten Commandments are a perfect example of this.

And don't think that I am only coming out against Christian Fundamentalism; I get just as irritated by Atheistic Fundamentalism, that teenage stubbornness where one refuses to read scripture or take any heed from it, and who assume that anyone–and anything–involved with the practice of religion is a result of boorish stupidity. I have read scripture, I have prayed, I have been to church. I have said grace at the table at Thanksgiving. And at no point did I feel that I was being simple or stupid, or oppressed. There are things to be found in faith that Atheism will never provide; and there are emotions that Atheism cannot explain. Is it possible, really, for me to look at Mount Ranier when I'm driving north and not have a fleeting thought of "Whoever made that is a damned good artist"? Or to know someone has died and not pray, secretly, quietly to myself, that they are in a better place?

Atheism rejects our human need for faith, for the belief in something greater than ourselves. This was not always the sky-cult of Judeo-Christian belief. Before that, it was the Earth and the deities that were wrought from it. But it has always been something; we always need a cosmogonic myth and we balance it with an apocalyptic myth. Science, with the Big Bang and the Universe's endless expansion and semi-predictable chaos, is another form of myth, though I will not say that it is false. All myths are true in their own way, all myths are useful. Science has proven to be one of the most useful because it denies that it is infalliable; its laws are subject to change upon each new discovery. I trust science to explain the workings of my world, and I admit (as most scientists do) that it does not explain everything.

Humans, when we get down to our core, are too complicated to accept a single explaination for the way things are. Only following a single doctrine, then, is going against what being human is. We did not fall from grace out of the blue. We got curious. But if it weren't for that curiosity (to use a Biblical metaphor), there would be nothing more than two naked people sitting in a garden naming animals. And I, for one, think that Original Sin did us a world of good.

So, back to the issue at hand: distributing copies of The Origin of Species explaining that, despite laying the foundation for modern Biology, Paleontology, and a host of other disciplines, gave Hitler a good reason for Genocide. Not only are these allegations false, but they go against everything that academia tries to promote. If these ladies and gentlemen (amongst whom is former Tiger Beat cover boy Kirk Cameron) really want to break into the academic world and make Creation level with Evolution in classrooms everywhere, they could start by promoting something that is less sensationalist and more guided by reason and willingly open for debate. Also, you have to remember that, though it is the basis for so much scientific study, it has always been called the Theory of Evolution, not the Indisputable Fact of Evolution. If Creation is to be taught, then it, too, must be posed as a theory, therefore negating its very purpose in the eyes of those who promote it so intensely. Academic institutions are places of debate and discourse, and therefore could never really promote fundamentalism in the classroom. Calling one of the most influential academics of all time a liar based on false accusations of racism is just childish.

I read a small portion of Sarah Palin's new book in a review of it online, where she says that she can't look at everything people have done and think that they were once fish crawling out of the ocean. We've heard that argument before; the assumption that Evolution is an insult to humanity since it infers that we are descended from monkeys and fish and not borne directly from the mind of the Almighty. Hogwash, I say. There's something, to me, that's even more beautiful about the idea of us, out of the billions of possible organisms, somehow changing and evolving, turning a simple backbone into a spine and a few electronic pulses into the most complex brain that's ever been known, to go from floating to swimming to crawling to walking upright when no other species really could, to grow hands for building and turn small families into civilizations, surviving mass extinctions throughout millions of years, until we reached the point where we could dream up hundreds of possibilities for our own origins and millions of hopes for our own future–is that not, Ms. Palin, the ultimate underdog story? Is Homo Sapiens not a cunning and wise and adaptive survivor? Have we not proven ourselves worthy of the Gods we create and hold fast to?

There is nothing to be ashamed of in the idea of once being small. Everything was once small, even in Genisis, there was chaos from which light and life was created. We are above throwing stones into the gears of other's ideas, and the only way to continue to evolve as a society is to allow free thought, as well as freedom of worship. But please, let's do it in an arena where we can at least be courteous to one another.

Because, really, I can't pick just one.

In the Spring of 2008, while living in the literal ass of England, my two best friends and I went on an adventure through France, Germany, and Vienna. Being the people that we are, we said some pretty ridiculous things. Here, thanks to Amanda's diligent recording, is the cream of the crop of words that came out of our mouths that fateful few weeks:


"It's all the New Kids on the Block in ONE GERMAN MAN!"

"Ahahahaha.........We're poor and sad."

"I can't remember who I'm sleeping with... oh wait, NOBODY."

"Good old patch-knees. Rawwhh!"

"Ssssir it's not hot enough in the hot tub...?"

"Vehre you guys just flashing zeh towns? Get your feet off zeh seat und stop flashing your tits."

"Well, what are you gonna do?"
"Pssh...Fuck a tree, apparantly."

"Get on the bus, douche. We're in hell."

"We got trouble! Right here in Nurnburg City! With a capital N and that rhymes with BEN and that stands for GETBACKHERE!"

"Danke....................

.....................................................................................................................schoen...?"

"God I love these ghetto fabulous Germans!"

"Hilton says 'no' to everything except being rich."

"Where is the key-"
"It's in my butt."

"How am I taking this badly? you're the one who put it up your butt."

"Ok It's an hour and 15 minutes until the next traaeeiighhhhhhch."

"You have good eyes, Meg. They're big and awesome."

"He's probably a perfectly nice guy, and here we are saying he's a dangerous muppet James Spader Javier Bardem."

"Oh shit, it's Napoleon."

"What is it?"
"Pshh, I don't know, gigantic?"


"...............SUGAR!!!!"

"Why don't you restock your cart before you come on this train and sell your wares!?!?!?!"