PoliBLARGH

Two new idiomatic expressions, one which is highbrow.....and one which is not.

The Highbrow

You're talking to your friend, and they describe doing something. Let's say, "I'm gonna meet Mona and then we're riding to school."

You answer: "Do you mean that in the regular sense or in the John Donne sense?"


*the joke: John Donne, a contemporary of Shakespeare, was famous for his ridiculous double entendres (in fact he most likely invented the double entendre in it's modern form) in his poetry. Most famous is his use of "little death" as an orgasm (true, that's what it means in French, but whatever, it's dirty). One can always imagine John Donne standing around a group or courtiers and nudging the guy next to him whenever the ladies walked by, jabbing his elbow into the man's sides and going "eh? EHH?" In short, saying something in "The John Donne" sense means that you are taking the active verb out of the phrase and replacing it with a form of "fuck"*

Regular sense: Yesterday I stayed at home and studied for my chem final.
John Donne sense: Yesterday I stayed at home and fucked for my chem final.



The Lowbrow

You are discussing one of any various topics with a friend, and they bring up a specific item that annoys you. Let's say:

"Hey, have you seen Seven Years in Tibet?"

And you reply: "Seven years in Tibet? More like Seven Years in BLAAAARGH."

*the joke: people often use this form of sentence with the last word replaced by some sort of pun or jab. This time, we replace it with a barfing noise.*

Variations: If you think that it sounds better, or if the word has a "Mc" or "Mac" in it, go ahead and just put the barfing in the last syllable.
Example:

"Hey, I don't pay attention to the actual world, so I think I'll vote for John McCain."
"John McCain? More like John McBLAAAAARGH."


And while we're on the subject of John McCain: Boy oh boy am I sick of the whole "Liberal Media Gotcha Journalism" tripe that they're trying to sell.

First of all: they're slamming McCain/Palin for, like, lying. Repeatedly. About things that they should not lie about.

Second of all: they get on Obama's ass about it, too, and Biden's. But hey, you know why they don't do that so often? Because they check their facts instead of pulling them out of their asses.

Third of all: Come on, guys. If Obama ever pulled out a stunt like lying, or being immersed in Lobbyists, or picked a completely inexperienced runningmate, had a wife who had been addicted to Vicodin, a daughter who was pregnant at 17, or was endorsed by a preacher who claimed that the Holocaust was God's work, he would be out of the race. Hell, he would have to leave the country or be dragged out on a rail. But John McCain and Sarah Palin have been pulling out these exact things, and yet they remain, hell, they are the head of one of the largest political parties in, like, the WORLD. If the media had really maintained the so-called "liberal bias", then there would be no McCain/Palin. Look at what happened to John Kerry, and then tell me that the media is liberal. Knock it off, Republican Strategists.

Do you ever think that, between elections, the Republican Strategists and the Democratic Strategists get together and play risk, not to have fun, but to sniff out each other's weaknesses and poison their brandy? I do.

Just a couple more points...

Number one:

Tonight, I say to the American people, to Democrats and Republicans and Independents across this great land – enough! This moment – this election – is our chance to keep, in the 21st century, the American promise alive. Because next week, in Minnesota, the same party that brought you two terms of George Bush and Dick Cheney will ask this country for a third. And we are here because we love this country too much to let the next four years look like the last eight. On November 4th, we must stand up and say: “Eight is enough.”

His speech (which I did not get that chance to see live) gave me goosebumps, and had me in tears at a few moments. He got angry at the end, he got more impassioned than his speech four years ago (which is still one of the best that I have experienced) and, though of course he didn't close the book completely on any of the attacks–McCain will always use them, no matter how debunked or outdated they are–he certainly shot them down enough that it will make the GOP and FOX news look just a little dumber than usual when they bring it up.

And I know that it's part of his whole deal, but I'm actually pretty glad that he didn't spend too much time talking about his and Michelle's life stories. For me, it's gotten old to the point that it seems like more and more of a ploy when he uses it; though Bill Clinton made it look fresh last night, so it still works.

In conclusion: I wear my Obama sweater with pride and cashed my last DNC check today; I am proud and excited to be a part of this movement and will continue to do what I can (though my funds are low right now), even in Canada, up to November 4th.

Now here's point number two:

And all over the country was heard the rallying cry of "what the hell?"

Fine, John. Well played. Slick move. Because the best way to get Hillary supporters on board, close the age gap, and renew your whole "maverick" persona is to go with a 44-year old first-term female governor who is out of the beltway and does seem to have a record of fighting Republican corruption. Yeah, that sounds like someone sort of Hillary-ish. Of course, she has less experience than Obama, is a militant pro-lifer, a card-carrying moose-hunting member of the NRA who is outspoken against the LGBT community (though she does say that she has "gay friends"), a conservative Evangelical who has conservative Evangelical views, who supports drilling in the Alaskan Wildlife refuge, was supported by now-indicted senator Ted Stevens, has no experience with Foreign Policy and has very little with Economics, and is in a scandal of her own; not exactly Watergate, but she certainly ain't teflon.

And true, Mitt Romney and Mike Huckabee aren't the smartest cookies in the basket. Neither is Giuliani, though Lieberman would have been smart enough to hold his own–and would probably have done better to sway over independents and those who are still under the impression that he's remotely liberal. But at least they're experienced on working or debating at the national level. She'll be a mouthpiece for McCain in the VP debate, and Joe Biden will tear her apart.

What a stupid choice, if you really think about it. What she represents, yes, that is important. But what she's actually done, who she actually is, doesn't really impress me in any way.

And I will be damned if I see the first woman in a presidential position be someone who isn't Hillary Clinton, who isn't progressive, who isn't wise, and tried, and true, and hasn't really done anything to earn it. Hillary–though I wasn't as strong a supporter of her as I was Obama–fucking earned it. She fucking struggled and fought and in my opinion women all over the country are in her debt. But our grandmothers and great-grandmothers, our aunts and, yes, quite a few of our uncles have not fought and bled for decades just for this. She might be a woman, and I respect her for her career, but just because we are of the same gender doesn't mean that we automatically represent the same things, that I have to applaud this choice by default. Never will I do that; just as I have never respected Condoleeza Rice. Just because you have the face or the body of a minority does not mean that you support their interests.

I have not waited my whole life, our country has not waited so long just to see the first female vice-president be nothing more than a stooge for the historically sexist GOP. No, never. I would rather wait fifty years than see that happen. And I think that the real Hillary supporters, the ones who are feminists AND progressives, will agree.

Go sing songs, go rock on

Check it out:
This makes Minneapolis/St Paul the place to be next week:
It's right outside of the airport! I know that I haven't watched The Daily Show in forever, so this reminds me of how nice it is to see Jon Stewart and his pack of well-dressed satirists tearing the GOP a new one. God bless America.

So yes, I did see day one of the Democratic National Convention; or at least most of it. I made the stupid mistake of thinking that CNN would do more than "Dear god, what will we dooooooo about CLIIIIIIINTOOOOOOOOOOON?!" for hours on end. Give it up, you guys. So I switched over in time to C-SPAN to see Nancy Pelosi speak, and though I enjoyed all of the speeches, for the most part I was underwhelmed by the overall feel of things. Yes, we have Hope, and we want Change, and we'll fight for Obama. Pelosi did the attacks (which I've been waiting for the most) the best, getting the crowd to chant over and over, "John McCain is wrong", and what she said about his record was a great attack: "The Republicans say that John McCain has 26 years of experience. We say that John McCain has 26 years of being wrong."

And of course, I got a little misty when Ted Kennedy came out to speak and said that nothing would keep him from being there. The fact that the entire remainder of the Kennedy family supports Obama is a huge deal, and it seems pretty obvious that the camp is glad to have it, what with all the Kennedy signs flying through the audience...with "barackobama.com" printed right below them. I enjoyed hearing Jesse Jackson, Jr. speak, as well as Michelle Obama, and I was glad to hear her acknowledge–however briefly–the 18 million votes that Hillary Clinton won in the primary elections. I think that, overall, they did a good enough job as showing Obama as the family-loving everyman instead of just the high-minded intellectual celebrity that the Republicans like to peg him as.

Of course, the big question on everyone's mind, as CNN showed before, is what will happen with the Clinton camp: the inclusion of her name in the vote as well as giving voice to Michigan and Florida, two states that she would have won, as well as the selection of Joe Biden for VP instead of Clinton has re-opened the can of worms that is the so-called rivalry between the two senators. And though I know that Clinton and Obama aren't the best of friends right now, I doubt that Hillary is so immature that she would continue to bear a grudge up to this point, or to allow her supporters to. Tomorrow night, and Bill's speech on Wednesday, will hopefully clear the air on that subject and put it to rest, and hopefully shut down the two recent attack ads that McCain aired that urged Hillary supporters to vote McCain.

By the way: if you support Hillary Clinton, then do what she would do and vote Democrat. Voting on a grudge because your candidate didn't make it is the wrong way to vote, period.

So tonight I think that I'm going to write as much as I can, since I've become so bad about it in the past while. Tea and writing! socks and hummus!

My life is getting sad. My job is over, and it's making me feel a weird unfulfilled sensation, which only happens when you leave school after a good semester, or say goodbye for what you know will be years. The irony is, on my first day not working with the DNC, my Obama sweater came in the mail and I watched the convention. Talk about not letting go easy. But this time next week I'll be settled into my new home, going out to dinner with Amanda and Aletheia and hopefully Peter and Esther, enjoying my return to BC and to University, and entering into my last year.

One last thing before I disappear for another week:
Listen to it (when it comes out legally, yuk yuk yuk). I'm actually liking it more than The Stage Names. Less of that meta-fiction self-awareness shtick that made The Stage Names a bit tiresome after a while, though when it needs to be, The Stand Ins has plenty or well-matured cynicism. Also, it sounds like it would be good live, and I'm going to see them on the 18th. YAY.

you know it

William Faulkner is owning my shit. Check it:

"Let the writer take up surgery or bricklaying if he is interested in technique. There is no mechanical way to get the writing done, no shortcut. The young writer would be a fool to follow a theory. Teach yourself by your own mistakes; people learn only by error. The good artist believes that nobody is good enough to give him advice. He has supreme vanity. No matter how much he admires the old writer, he wants to beat him".

There you go, guys, I'll use that for inspiration when I'm low; or when I think that figuring out a strategy is gonna save me. It ain't.

Also, as a tangential thing, I kind of want to buy this:
My reasons:
A) I need a new hoodie/sweater for day-to-day stuff and whatnot;
B) Barack Obama?

It's $35, which isn't that bad when you think about it, and the proceeds go to the campaign (yay!) and it's all made in America (double yay!). Am I getting a bit too into this? Did you know that Obama is left-handed? I'm left-handed! Match made in heaven?

Seriously, the outcome of this election is going to determine whether I want to live in America or Canada. And if I buy something and he loses? I'll still wear it with pride. There's this whole movement of change going on that's beyond just the one guy and the one election. For serious.

The Dark Knight is still the superior film to Iron Man, though to be fair, we should be comparing origin movies, not an origin vs. a sequel. And you know what? Batman Begins was better than Iron Man. In fact, I'm starting to think that Iron Man is kind of a bad movie, despite the Downey, Jr. and, um, the suit. Of iron. Worn by....a man. Give me complexity over a shitty soundtrack any day.

God I need to sleep. I'm craving...a reuben. A veggie reuben, which is with tomatoes instead of meat.

Also, I need to stop eating chicken every now and then.