I have never desired to keep it secret that I adore Dorothy Parker. As sad as her life was, as atypical and un-tortured as her writing could be, she was the wittiest wit of her time, and I am in love with it. I'm heading to Portland this weekend, and if there's anything that I'm going to buy at all, it will be a new copy of the Portable Dorothy Parker, since mine was lost to stupidity long ago. To tide me over, here are a few Parkerian zingers:
"A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika."
"I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true."
"I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it."
"If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised."
"Well look at you–a rhinestone in the rough!"
"She speaks seven languages and she can't say 'no' in any of them."
"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
"Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves."
"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more."
"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity."
"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."
"She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B." (speaking of Katherine Hepburn on Broadway)
"That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment."
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