PoliBLARGH

Two new idiomatic expressions, one which is highbrow.....and one which is not.

The Highbrow

You're talking to your friend, and they describe doing something. Let's say, "I'm gonna meet Mona and then we're riding to school."

You answer: "Do you mean that in the regular sense or in the John Donne sense?"


*the joke: John Donne, a contemporary of Shakespeare, was famous for his ridiculous double entendres (in fact he most likely invented the double entendre in it's modern form) in his poetry. Most famous is his use of "little death" as an orgasm (true, that's what it means in French, but whatever, it's dirty). One can always imagine John Donne standing around a group or courtiers and nudging the guy next to him whenever the ladies walked by, jabbing his elbow into the man's sides and going "eh? EHH?" In short, saying something in "The John Donne" sense means that you are taking the active verb out of the phrase and replacing it with a form of "fuck"*

Regular sense: Yesterday I stayed at home and studied for my chem final.
John Donne sense: Yesterday I stayed at home and fucked for my chem final.



The Lowbrow

You are discussing one of any various topics with a friend, and they bring up a specific item that annoys you. Let's say:

"Hey, have you seen Seven Years in Tibet?"

And you reply: "Seven years in Tibet? More like Seven Years in BLAAAARGH."

*the joke: people often use this form of sentence with the last word replaced by some sort of pun or jab. This time, we replace it with a barfing noise.*

Variations: If you think that it sounds better, or if the word has a "Mc" or "Mac" in it, go ahead and just put the barfing in the last syllable.
Example:

"Hey, I don't pay attention to the actual world, so I think I'll vote for John McCain."
"John McCain? More like John McBLAAAAARGH."


And while we're on the subject of John McCain: Boy oh boy am I sick of the whole "Liberal Media Gotcha Journalism" tripe that they're trying to sell.

First of all: they're slamming McCain/Palin for, like, lying. Repeatedly. About things that they should not lie about.

Second of all: they get on Obama's ass about it, too, and Biden's. But hey, you know why they don't do that so often? Because they check their facts instead of pulling them out of their asses.

Third of all: Come on, guys. If Obama ever pulled out a stunt like lying, or being immersed in Lobbyists, or picked a completely inexperienced runningmate, had a wife who had been addicted to Vicodin, a daughter who was pregnant at 17, or was endorsed by a preacher who claimed that the Holocaust was God's work, he would be out of the race. Hell, he would have to leave the country or be dragged out on a rail. But John McCain and Sarah Palin have been pulling out these exact things, and yet they remain, hell, they are the head of one of the largest political parties in, like, the WORLD. If the media had really maintained the so-called "liberal bias", then there would be no McCain/Palin. Look at what happened to John Kerry, and then tell me that the media is liberal. Knock it off, Republican Strategists.

Do you ever think that, between elections, the Republican Strategists and the Democratic Strategists get together and play risk, not to have fun, but to sniff out each other's weaknesses and poison their brandy? I do.